Itand's been one week since we got to see
cheatinand' lovers and cousins that marry
five days since they had the show
with the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho
three days since we heard the tale
about the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
yesterday it occurred to me
that iand've been watchinand' a bit too much jerry springer
Holy cow, dand'you see it last week?
well, they had this one freak
who sucker-punched his whole family
do you recall when the brawl
became a total free-for-all?
and jerryand's in the middle tryinand' to be the referee
hey, see the stripper with the implants?
she likes to lap dance
and date the boyfriend of her mother
now here comes jerryand's next guest
and itand's a slugfest
and'cause itand's her trailer trash brother
nymphomaniac is back on crack
itand's like andquot;when animals attackandquot;
they all exhibit reprehensible behavior
hit and'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
step on their toes, thatand's how it goes
they get so violent they have to sign a waiver
Theyand're always swearinand', cursinand', kickinand' butt and pointinand' blame
on the air? they donand't care, theyand've got no shame
there was one guy who iand'm sure felt a little strange
when he found out that his wife had a sex change
they have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
they have a history of ripping off their shirts
Itand's been one week since they had the fight
with the siamese twins and the transvestite
five days since that awful brawl
they still havenand't got the blood off the wall
itand's been three days since the bitter feud
between the kkk and that gay jewish black dude
yesterday, finally dawned on me
iand'm spendinand' way too much time on that jerry springer
Male springer guest: baby, iand've been sleepinand' with your sister.
female springer guest: oh, which one?
male springer guest: all of and'em.
female springer guest: ah, well, iand've been sleepinand' with your best friend jake.
male springer guest: yeah? w-well, me too! and, iand've been sleepinand' with your dog woofie!
female springer guest: woofie, you bitch! well iand'm also sleepinand' with your pet goat!
male springer guest: that goat doesnand't love you!
Once you start watchinand', thereand's just no stoppinand'
your brain shuts down, then your iqand's droppinand'
jerryand's the king of confrontation
heand's a sensation
he puts the and'sinand' in syndication
itand's totally worthless, like a bad check
itand's like a train wreck
donand't wanna stare, but you canand't look away
like sally jesse he does talk shows
but with more weirdos
the ratings jumpinand' higher every day
if youand've seen the show, well then you know
itand's just as low as you can go
the guests are tacky and theyand're lacking in their hygiene
and pretty soon some ugly goon
comes in the room and then itand's boom
in the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well, itand's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
yankinand' hair, throwinand' chairs at their hubbies
andquot;jerry! jerry!andquot; now the crowd starts their favorite chant
should i turn off my tv? i just canand't
i have a tendency to watch it religiously
i have a history of taping each one
Itand's been one week since the show about
psycho killers with problems they should work out
five days since the big surprise
when some loserand's wife said that sheand's still dating twenty guys
three days since he interviewed
a bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
yesterday, it occurred to me
that iand've been watchinand' a bit too much jerry springer
tired of wastinand' my time on that jerry springer
iand've got way too much class to watch jerry springer
come over here and pull on my finger
