andquot;and now a buffoonand's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.andquot;
[dean:] andquot;well michael, i would like to extend my warmest congradulations
on your upcoming graduation and i understand
you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;i got a snake, man!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;yes, pets are welcome here on campus.
be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;one time i fed it some beer man! it was slithering this way and that!
it was all fucked up!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;iand'm sure it was.
well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students
and pets here on campus.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;fuckinand' shit!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;yes, thatand's a not uncommon reaction to this policy.
so tell me a little bit more about your background.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;my fatherand's a fucking asshole, man!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;hmm, i see. your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;my motherand's a piece of shit too!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;well, i hope you can find an outlet for your hostility
over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed
and ready to learn.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;my teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!
she had her head way up her ass!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;well the quality of the faculty at a university
such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;your secretaryand's a real fat bitch, man!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;yes, sheand's tried many diets over the years with minimal success.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;i had diarhea last month. i had to shit all fucking day!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;uh huh, well we all get the occasional stomach bug,
never a pleasurable experience.
so have you given any thought to your choice of major?andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;iand've got a big fucking boner right now.andquot;
[dean:] andquot;i see. well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods
of nervous tension. i do not take offense.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;one time i ate my neighbors shit!andquot;
[dean:] andquot;thatand's understandable. well, i enjoyed meeting you.
weand'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.andquot;
[buffoon:] andquot;i bet you got really hairy balls.andquot;
[dean:] andquot;yes, itand's a veritable forest down there. bye bye.andquot;
