By townes van zandt
Well, billy went down to the battleground
to find a little trinket he could call his own
didnand't see nothinand' lying around
he decided heand'd dig awhile
well he dug her up and he dug her down
and'fore too long he found some bones
poor little billy couldnand't make a sound
when the bones sat up and smiled
oh billy you seem like a fine young man
no reason to be a tremblinand' soul
come over here and shake my hand
make my proud acquaintance
well billy he was stunned he could hardly stand
whether he could move he didnand't know
but he knew he had to formulate some kinda plan
or try the bonemanand's patience
the first thing he wanted to do was breathe
so he gulped in some of that battleground air
next thing he wanted to do was leave
but billy wasnand't raised up rude
well the boneman grunted and he gave a heave
all of a sudden he was loominand' there
shakin off dirt and actin pleased
things didnand't look too good
well billy decided what the hell
you donand't meet a boneman every day
a little bit skinny but you never can tell
he might be a pretty good guy
well they started off with the old soft sell
and'fore too long they were jawinand' away
by the time the darkness fell
they were seeinand' socket to eye
they decided right then on a life of crime
with the bonemanand's looks and billyand's brains
they could scare old scrooge out of his last dime
might as well have a go
billy he would picked the place and time
from the corner store to the railroad train
boneyand'd flash him a smile sublime
and billy heand'd grab the dough
they decided they might as well start right then
timeand's awastinand' so they say
they headed for the park
where the lights are dim
and only the foolish tread
he was whistlinand' a tune
when they spotted him strollinand' along
so plump and gay
boney gave him a great big grin
and billy snagged his bread
next come a lady of the night
boney saddled up and said hello
gave the poor thing such a terrible fright
she fainted dead away
billy lifted her purse and her earrings bright
diamond rings and watch you know
couldnand't figure out try as they might
why theyand'd ever worked a single day
billyand's plans ended up in ruin you know
they were workinand' a quaint little neighborhood
spied an old lady about eighty or so
almost looked too easy
boney put on a pretty good show
the little oland' lady didnand't see too good
my kind sir your all bones you know
you need something hot and greasy
grabbed oland' boney drug him inside
billy peeked in through the window sill
she fed him boiled and baked and fried
oland' boney heand's chewin like crazy
he gobbled up everything he tried
pounds added on like you know they will
billy laid down in the dirt and cried
watchin boney gettin fat and lazy
well billyand's back workin his job by day
sleepand'n nights it ainand't so bad
never liked stealin anyway
kinda gives a guy the willies
boney and ma got a new cafe
best baked beans you ever had
maand's expecting any day
and they say theyand're gonna name him billy
