[ludacris]
hi, my nameand's ludacris, and iand'm high as giraffe pussy
and iand'm close to the edge, so yoand' parents can come push me
i curse so much just to get on they nerves
i got kids andquot;actin a foolandquot; from the traps to the burbs
my filthy mouth, it wonand't fight cavities or beat plaque
so i shot the tooth fairy and put my old teeth back
i take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater
and make government officials breathe harder than darth vader
itand's the chicken and the beer that makes luda keep rappin
but no pork on my fork, i donand't even speak pig latin
i go fishin on my lake, with yoand' bitch as the bait
plus i eat many mcand's, but i donand't gain no weight
the numba one chief rocka, clean out yoand' rap lockers
iand'm as stiff as a board, yand'all more shook than maracas
but my +trix+ ainand't for kids, if you +digand'um+ youand'll get +smacked+
iand'll clock ya - iand'll spring forward, you fall back
every album that i drop has got more than ten bangers
thatand's cause iand'm a shot caller, yand'all fools is +crank yankers+
{*phone rings*} ainand't a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain
to get chicks from portland, oregon to portland, maine
now i roll up torpedoes, get blunted with rastas
for a hefty fee, iand'm +on your record+ like bob costas
i own so many jerseys iand'm a throwback mess
i hit the cleaners and tell and'em i want a full court press (ow!)
so momma toast your glass while iand'm countin my cash
cause every single is a smash, iand'm hot as a cameland's ass
the competition never just wanna admit that they lost
and that they last about as long as my part in +the wash+
from yoand' car to a crap game, no one rolls witand'chu
one of mini-meand's shoes got more sole than you
so by the time you figure out why your record ainand't spinnin
iand'm in the strip club smokin, with president clinton
so stand clear of the long sideburns and goatee
they may the mold of the penis enlarger off me
iand'll be in another room when i hit from the back
not to mention my refridgeratorand's taller than shaq (yuh)
so yippie-kay-yay, yippie-yie-yie-yo
if you canand't swim, donand't smoke my hydro
iand've been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on
but a lot of yand'all are moand' stuck up than tampons
so wash all ya sins away and stop playin
if godand's line is busy you might have to two-way him
then catch me in your backyard, playin croquet
and when iand'm drunk tell them kids, andquot;drugs are bad, mmmand'kay?andquot;
or watch me swing my chain at the roscoeand's off pico
got seven cars, get all my rims at chrome depot
and people think iand'm bad, they say andquot;oooh heand's so evil!andquot;
cause i go on blind dates, with actual blind people (ow!)
but my albumand's out the store, yours be on the shelf
i heard you masturbate a lot, so yand'all keep to yourself
cause these women want a man that stay up and stay strong
like the nba, you gotta play hard or go home
all that shit that yand'all talkin, yand'all can pop it to them
cause ludacrisand'll beat you down with a prosthetic limb
i put my foot so deep in yoand' ass that you can smell it
and yoand' breath will turn to foot locker water repellant
iand'm the man, i got money far as the eyes can see
and iand'm in a group, i split dough with me, me and me
so much money in my jewelry that iand'm damn near sorry
so iand'ma trade my earrings in, and get a ferrari (woo!)
i buy cars with straight cash, have meetings with donald trump
yand'all meet with honda, no payments for 12 months
take a look at yoand' life, and no wonder you so sad
yand'all put up with more shit than a colostomy bag, fool!
{*laughter*}
