(intro)
i picked up this midget you know heand's very very well dressed
italian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blond
is it a- a lady midget
no the guy was a midget the blond was a lady
oh the- i get it
those midgets are funny hahaha sometimes iand'd like to hold a midget
i mean theyand're funny
they always wanna sit in the front seat- word
(verse 1)
lifeand's got me mad
but if i had a midget iand'd be glad
to watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad
heand'd have a big head short legs and long torso
the name that i give my pet midget is little gordo
iand'd teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks
when company came over heand'd perform and get tips
while iand'm eatin at night, in the kitchen heand'd be able
to get the food scraps that i threw under the table
if my midget was ever mad and acted enraged
then iand'd take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage
but if he kept acting up and really made me sick
iand'd hang him upside down and poke him with a stick
little gordo would be good most of the time though
heand'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling kaiyo
iand'd take him for walks in the park on the weekends
and if he saw other midgets heand'd say can we be friends
heand'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead
and heand'd be in the guiness book for the worldand's biggest head
what a funny little fellow, but donand't call him a shrimp
or heand'll attack your leg cause gordos a tough gimp
heand'd have a pogo ball that heand'd bounce on for hours
and dirty little fathead gordo wouldand'nt take showers
when halloween came, he wouldnand't be a chump
Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump
(scratching/chorus)
midget is a midget
midget mi-mi-mi-mi-midget
midget is a midget
hey you guys- word
midget is a midget
midget mi-mi-mi-mi-midget
midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget
like a midget in a urinal, i was gonna have to stay on my toes
(verse 2)
sometimes my friends would chase gordo with a gun
it be fun
because midgets wobble when they run
theyand're so close to the ground and so easy to kick
theyand're so slow in the head and so easy to trick
gordo could do somersaults his special thing
at the fair i would make him enter mudwrestling
sometimes heand'd wear stilts and pretend to be tall
then iand'd kick him over- and then iand'd laugh at him fall
silly little gordo, just be yourself
iand'd put wood on his head, and heand'd just be a shelf
heand'd do funny little dances but thatand's irrelevant
at the beach gordo got attacked by pelicans
he had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogre
it didnand't last long cause he couldnand't fuck her sober
gordo had a problem, gordo wet the bed
so iand'd make him wear diapers on his ass and his head
heand'd have to clean up his own cage himself
and if he lost a little weight heand'd be a keebler elf
heand'd really be something, my mangled little munchkin
plus his head would be larger then any big pumpkin
this perfect little fool would make a perfect footstool
sometimes iand'd kick him in his head and say and'bitch be cooland'
iand'd have a great life, iand'd be happy i know
if i only owned a little pet midget named gordo
(scratching/chorus)
