My teaand's gone cold iand'm wondering why i
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i canand't see at all
and even if i could itand'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that itand's not so bad,
itand's not so bad
My teaand's gone cold iand'm wondering why i
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i canand't see at all
and even if i could itand'll all be gray
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that itand's not so bad
itand's not so bad
Dear santa,
i wrote you but you still ainand't callinand'
christmas is just around the corner and snow is fallinand'
i sent two letters back in autumn i guess you havenand't gottand'em yet
unless you did and you just havenand't replied you fat lazy git
whatzzup man, you been out again playinand' golf?
anywayz, whatand's happeninand', say hi to my mate rudolph
i think heand's a crazy reindeer as it goes
with them silly dumb-ass antlers, man, and that crazy red nose
anyway forget about that, man hereand's my present list
i hope i get what i want or else iand'll be well (pissed)
i want one of them scooters to ride around on
a kylie minogue calendar and a goddamn pokemon
hey, what about those toys from tvand's robot wars
that ainand't difficult, you get and'em in all department stores
anyways, i gotta go now santa, gotta go down the gym
to stay trim, write back soon, this is slim
My teaand's gone cold iand'm wondering why i
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i canand't see at all
and even if i could itand'll all be gray
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that itand's not so bad
itand's not so bad
Dear santa, you still ainand't called or wrote
whatand's going on? iand've been thinkinand' that iand've done somethinand' wrong
i wrote you already man, in fact i wrote you twice
this year i ainand't been naughty, man i been real nice
by the way, be careful round this neighbourhood, donand't get whacked
i donand't want my presents been stolen out your big sack
iand'm gonna leave some mince pies at the bottom of the chimney
hey santa, you gonna write back, fax me, ring me
my girlfriend think youand're strange, i talk about you all the time
i canand't wait to meet you santa when you come round to mine
donand't forget my presents man, i need that pikachu
if i donand't get it, no talkinand' from me iand'll be eating reindeer stew
ah, didnand't mean to threaten you man thatand's just my way
hey, any chance when you can come i can ride your magic sleigh
anywayz santa, go get my presents ready
i got go see my lady, write back soon, this is shady
My teaand's gone cold iand'm wondering why i
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i canand't see at all
and even if i could itand'll all be gray
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that itand's not so bad
itand's not so bad
Dear mr iand'm too busy eatinand' mince pies to write to my fans
you big fat red mother (fucker)
iand've been sending you letters for six months now
why ainand't you been writing back, you fat lazy cow
i hope you choke whilst drinking your egg nog
you silly fat ugly lazy pig-dog
sittinand' on your fat ass talking to rudolph and blitzen
iand'm here with no presents man, iand'm (fuckinand') bitchinand'
you ainand't wrote back man, that crime is heinous
i hope rudolphs antlers kebab your tiny (penis)
i hope you fall off that sleigh and land in yellow snow
you come down my chimney, iand'll tell you where to go
when you get to the bottom, donand't be expectinand' mince pies
youand'll be talkinand' to my fist, right between your (fuckinand') eyes
how you gonna fly when your sleigh is out on bricks
you and your stupid reindeer, you bunch of (pricks)
iand'm cycling in the rain on my 10-speed bike
but when i rock the mic, i rock the mic right
all i wanted was presents, but you couldnand't stop meddlinand'
hey shut up elf and keep on peddlinand'
sorry santa, thatand's one of your elfs going side saddle
i found him last night, so iand'm taking him for a paddle
so santa, it seems youand're out of luck
you can shove christmas up your ass you fat (fuck)
(woahhh, splash)
Sincerely yours, this is stan
My teaand's gone cold iand'm wondering why i
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i canand't see at all
and even if i could itand'll all be gray
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that itand's not so bad
itand's not so bad
Dear slim, i meant to write you sooner
but iand've been busy, all this flying business makes me quite dizzy
iand'm flattered that you talk about me all the time
your girlfriend shouldnand't get upset, itand's hardly a crime
however, hereand's a question iand'd like to ask if iand'm able
have you ever been described as been slightly unstable
the reason i ask is that you want a pikachu
that toyand's for a five year old, what the (fuckand's) wrong with you
as for kidnapping my elf, not a good plan
iand'll rip your (fuckinand') head off, you crazy mad man
iand'm gonna bust you up bad, you dirty little scrote
iand'll rip your head off and shove a pokemon down your throat
you donand't deserve any presents and'cause youand're (fuckinand') loopy
you soft pussy of a girl, iand'm not gonna give you a snoopy
and'cause you bust my balls for so long, heres what iand'll do
on the night of christmas eve, iand'm coming to get you
you see i may be santa, but iand'm rock hard
i could kill a man with just a christmas card
when you stole my elf, you made me sick
iand've had elfs stolen from me before you thick (prick)
there was this one guy, had an elf on a bike
drove him into a river late one night
and in the basket in the front there was a letter
but it didnand't say who it was to
come to think about it, it was you
damn.
