My last girlfriend didnand't like me thought she might be
most likely a dyke she just didnand't excite me
lefty? yeah but that was alright
she was hotter than the sun but she just wasnand't that bright
my mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
i think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
ass like a donkey acting funky gave her andquot;landquot; now sheand's flunky
so my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys
early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
so what if iand'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
iand'm white which goes with everything but i can come in any color
and iand'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
but itand's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
and how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
like emand' easy and hot and sweet like a rice krispie treat gee
you know what i really want in a girl? me
I need to find a new vagina
any kind of new vagina
itand's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
calvin klein? kind of north carolina
Women are like dog doo hear me through donand't interrupt
itand's just the older that they are the easier they are to pick up
iand'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
old hens would rather put than be put out to the pasture
no age just ainand't a gauge i like my girls like my cheese
preferably for me fat-free american singles only
i want my next chick anorexic the winner in the thinner
wonand't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
like sizzler she got a beef weand'll chew the fat
if i forget to put the seat up i can put up with her crap
let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed i donand't play rough
no i canand't be tied down with a girl that wnats me tied up
just independant like nofx smart like janeane garafolo
sheand'd use big words to make fun of me so that i would never know
bestow upon me all her knowledge of the dewey decimal system gee
you know what i really want in a girl? me
I need to find a new vagina
any kind of new vagina
itand's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
calvin klein? kind of north carolina
Vagina vagina vagina vagina
vagina vagina vagina vagina
