Look
if you had
one shot
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the tv you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush
would you go for it?
or just let it slip?
yo
Remote is ready
eyes wide, palms are sweaty
thereand's flintstones on the tv already
wilma and'nand' betty
no virgin to channel surfinand'
and iand'm hd-ready
so i flip
garbage is all iand'm getting
Thereand's simon cowell
who folks wanna disembowel
he opens his mouth
always says something foul
theyand're dyinand', wow
wannabes are crying now
he votes them out
time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality
oh, the humanity!
oh, ozzyand's family
shoand' loves profanity
whoa, the insanity
oh, dogs that crap and pee
home of depravity?
no, they live happily
yo
Plus andquot;da ali g showandquot;
and andquot;celebrity moleandquot;
oh, and thereand's anna nicole
well, sheand's scaring me
andquot;look ma, no cavitiesandquot;
oh, itand's a station break
better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
andquot;youand're gonna lose your mind watchinand' tvandquot; they told me, theyand'd scold me
but iand'd still tune in every show (show)
my cable gets c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the travel channel, discovery, and lifetime (yo)
andquot;youand're gonna lose your mind watchinand' tvandquot;
they told me, cajoled me, andquot;turn off those music videosandquot; (no)
iand'm gonna watch c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the history channel and qvc and lifetime (yo)
(youand're gonna)
My butt is aching
as i watch nascar racing
that show about undertaking
larry king
to andquot;24andquot; to andquot;law and orderandquot;
the weather channeland's boring like andquot;60 minutesandquot;and's ancient reporters
next up on andquot;e! true hollywood storyandquot;
the rise and decline of twelve actors named corey
Shows for next fall, theyand've already been naminand'
andquot;csi: boiseandquot; and andquot;touched by an uncleandquot; both sound pretty lame and'nand'
so does andquot;everybody tolerates raymondandquot;
and andquot;king of queensandquot; jumped the shark the first minute
i canand't believe richard simmons ainand't in it
Iand'll move right on to andquot;8 simple rules for dating my teenaged daughterandquot;
then i bet
i watch andquot;the bacheloretteandquot;
followed by andquot;welcome back, kotterandquot;
and andquot;the muppet showandquot; where they go and'mahna mahnaand'
andquot;youand're gonna lose your mind watching tvandquot;
they told me, theyand'd scold me
but iand'd still tune in every show (show)
my cable gets c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the disney channel and aande and lifetime (yo)
andquot;youand're gonna lose your mind watching tvandquot;
they told me, cajoled me
but i still love lisa kudrow (drow)
iand'm looking at c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the playboy channel and court tv and lifetime (yo)
(youand're gonna)
Never missed andquot;melrose placeandquot; or andquot;lost in spaceandquot;
iand've seen each andquot;amazing raceandquot; and andquot;without a traceandquot;
but i only watched andquot;will and graceandquot; one time one day
wish i hadnand't and'cause tivo now thinks iand'm gay
Oh, and andquot;fear factorandquot; i watched maybe a half hour
after that, felt like i needed a long shower
network execs with naked ambitions
andquot;next week on fox, watch lions eat christiansandquot;
Like to tie up those programming planners
make and'em watch all of that junk and'til their heads explode just like andquot;scannersandquot;
leech-covered grub-eatinand' fools on andquot;survivorandquot;
look thereand's james lipton discussing the oeuvre of mr. rob schneider
And thereand's andquot;gilliganandquot; and andquot;spongebobandquot;, plus thereand's andquot;macgyverandquot;
and jay leno has got madonna, hey thereand's luke perry on a
special all pig-latin episode of andquot;drew careyandquot;
Wanna turn on andquot;e.t.andquot; and'cause iand'm a gossip freak
and i gotta know who j. lo is marryinand' this week
a 30 second spot
then we come back to andquot;are you hot?andquot;
i was planning on recording andquot;the sopranosandquot;
i forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
iand'll stare and'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
because i only have got
one brain to rot
iand'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
andquot;youand're gonna lose your mind watching tvandquot;
they told me, theyand'd scold me
but iand'd still tune in every show (show)
my cable gets c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the sci-fi channel and amc and lifetime (yo)
andquot;youand're gonna lose your mind watching tvandquot;
they told me, cajoled me, andquot;turn off that oprah winfrey showandquot; (no)
i got it on c-span, tv-land, and hbo
the learning channel and mtv and lifetime (yo)
(youand're gonna)
You can watch anything you want to, man
